Joy Lives Within You

We often think things outside of us make us happy. But objects, places, and even people change over time. When we rely on the outside world for joy, our happiness comes and goes just as quickly as those things change. 

Real happiness starts in your own mind. It comes from how you choose to look at the world, not from what you own or achieve. When you stop looking outside and start looking inward, you find a steady peace that nothing can take away. Stay tuned for more such practical insights ! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to the Art of Being Happy, Buddha's Guide to Modern Living from Jetavanarama Buddhist Monastery, Sri Lanka. This intriguing talk series brings timeless Buddhist wisdom to help you navigate life's challenges through simple practical insights. Each episode offers gentle guidance for finding peace and joy in everyday moments. Join us on this journey toward lasting happiness and inner peace. Brought to you by Sanatana, the voice eternal.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

When you buy a used car, it's not a new car, but it's new to you. The old owner of the car, right, will not treat it as well as you do it because you are now the new owner of the car. In other words, actually, it's only new to you. Remember when you first bought that car home? And those of you who have a car, you know, you pretty much everyone has a car. When you first bought that car home, right, you didn't even let your kids get into it. Do you remember how you close the door? Right? Gently? Without making a noise, right? Just in case it might hurt the door. You close the door gently and then press it. You don't like slam it, you press it in. But say your friend comes along, you know, he's a he's a you're just giving someone a lift. And when he shuts the door, oh, you know, this is very typical of, you know, couples at home. If the man loves the car, the wife, you're not such a car fan. When she gets the shopping, both hands, she has a shopping, and she only needs one leg to stand on, right? And the door is open. So it's time to make use of the other leg. So what do you do when a door is open and you have two bags in your in either hand and you can manage yourself on one foot? The other leg can be used to shut the door. And when you do that, what did your husband say? You see, now he forgets that this is the wife that he brought home on a uh what do you call them? Uh she he forgets this is the this is the wife I brought home on a palanquin. This is the queen that I brought home with me. But now I have another queen. The car. So why do you love the car more than you love your wife now? Familiarity reads contempt. The car is new, the wife is old. And when the kids come in, but careful. Right? Dust your feet, dust your feet. Come on. You've all done this. Right? Remember the carpets? Huh? Remember the carpets went in before you got into the car? And you had to dust your feet, you know, rub your feet together, yeah, bathe them together to get all the dust off before you put your feet into the car. Right? For how long? First week, second week, third week, by about the third month, right? Even the dog had a seat in the car. Remember when you went to the fish market? Hey, I was you had to go to the fish market and you told your wife what? Honey, let's not have fish. I don't mind that. But I am not bringing any fish in my car. Not this car. She's my baby. No fish, please, because the car's going to stink. Because you like the new car smell. Right? The leather. The because everything was so new, not new, but new to you. Even when it was a secondhand car. The same applied. You know, in just the same way a man treats a brand new car, a man treats a secondhand car if it's new to him. Because vexation has just been relieved. And therefore, they experience pleasure. And they think this car is the source of my pleasure. So if the car is the source of my pleasure, now I have to protect it. When the car was new, if someone like opened the door and it left a dent on your car, how did you feel? Your jaw dropped, didn't it? It almost felt like your heart. You you spat out your heart, you know, even you saw that. But you know, after a while, because you know, after a while you sometimes reverse your car into the back into the wall, you're you're driving around, you bump into things. You know, after a while it just becomes, you know, you get used to it. Because it's no longer the object of your vexation. That's why. And then here's when the this is the last nail on the coffin. You watch this TV at word, and they say, the new model is here. When the new model is out, now all this while, right, all you could see was how good your old car was. Right? It was she was beautiful, wasn't she? In that deep royal blue. It was a beautiful car. But now you want the old model, all you can see are her faults. Because now you want the new model. Now it is it's not spacious enough. The car doesn't drive well, the steering doesn't turn well, the AC doesn't blow well, the seatbelt is too tight, there's not enough legroom, not enough room for the kids, it's not comfortable enough. All these complaints now. Why? Because now you have your eye on the new car. So what do you do? You sell this car to somebody else, and when they buy it, it's the object that they have been vaccined for. They carry the car on their head. That's why they say one man's trash is another man's treasure. It's all in the mind. It's not in the car. Neither treasure nor trash is in the object. Please wake up and realize this, ladies and gentlemen, so you can be freed from your own slavery. Wake up. Pleasure is not in the object. Pleasure is not in your car, it's not in your house, it's not in anything. These are all makings of the mind because the mind relieves itself from vexation. Because when the chitta goes into vexation, it waits for that object to come into being. It waits for the object to manifest. And at one point where this chitta rises, at this point, it doesn't experience it because the chitta hasn't arisen yet. So the whole process, it completes once it's gone one cycle. Okay? So receiving, registering, recognizing, responding, and perceiving. The whole process is complete in one cycle. So until this cycle is complete, you haven't perceived the entire object. So while that's at while it's at this point, it's still waiting for this object in the hope that it's going to bring me pleasure. So the chitta arises. And at some point the object falls. Or let's say at the beginning the object falls and it takes on the object. And now it's it starts to receive it, starts to registrate, starts to perceive it, and the process continues. And the process happens rather. At one point, it recognizes the object and realizes this is the object I've been waiting for. When recognition happens, you know this is the object I've been waiting for. If it is the object you've been waiting for, now you're no longer waiting. It's like the son who comes to you with once every two years. We talked about this. Your boy comes home once every two years, he lives in Australia, he's gone there for his higher education, he comes every two years. How do you treat him? Like a prince. For how long though? Two weeks. Again, absence makes the heart grow fonder. You know, you didn't love him or show him as much affection when he was with you, did you? You didn't show him so much affection when he was with you. But when he's not with you and he comes for a short stay, for a short visit, so much love, so much affection. One of the best things you can do as a family is spend some time away from each other. Once in a while. So the mother, father, children, spend some time away from each other. Because when you're away from each other, you will begin to long for their association. You will begin to wax again. The morning tea, the morning newspaper, the cooked breakfast, you're gonna start missing them. The wash dishes, the wash laundry, uh, the the iron shirts and the trousers, you're gonna start missing all that. The sweet voice, it's not sweet when it's heard every day. That's the thing. Remember when you were younger, right, when you were first getting into that relationship, you waited day and night, counting days and nights to hear that voice, didn't you? You know, though these days we have mobile phones, but back then, right, perhaps, you know, in your father's or your grandparents' time, actually, we don't need to go that far. You know, go back to your parents' time. You know, when I was younger, I I think by the age of 14 or 15 was when I actually got to start got to use a phone, not have my own phone, but actually got to use a phone. Until then, I hadn't even used a mobile phone. So actually, going back to some of your earlier years, right, you probably didn't have a phone. So when you were dating, right, or actually having a getting into a relationship with someone, getting to know someone, you didn't have this close association. You only got to see them once a week, maybe once every two weeks. You had to get on the train to go and see her. You had to wait for the bus to go and see her. You had to wait till New Year's to see her, right? And that waiting just kept you vexing. And at the end, that vexation was relieved. So when you heard that voice, it was like honey, it was like trickle in your ears. But then you decided, I want to hear that voice every day. Tell me, was that the right or the wrong choice? So then you brought that voice so that they could with you, be with you every day, and now from time to time you'll catch you saying, shut up already. Must you always talk? Sometimes you'll catch you saying this. I'm saying, you know, it's not just your home, every home is the same. It's just the way it is. That's how the mind works. What I need you to do is to understand how the mind works. These are all tricks of the mind. You are cheated by your own mind. Come to that awareness. So homework. Think of five things. Just you know, keep your eyes and ears open, and you'll experience them. Five things that will bring you pleasure. Right? It could be the things you eat, right? Maybe something you watch, something you smell. Right now you know how where these objects come from. This is your five senses, right? Just be mindful and catch yourself when you experience a sense, a moment of pleasure. And when you catch that moment of pleasure, ask yourself, is it the object that has brought me pleasure, or is it purely a relief from my internal vexation that has brought me this pleasure? How do we prove this? If it is the object, then the same object must bring you pleasure continuously. Pleasure today, pleasure tomorrow, pleasure the day after, it doesn't continue. Yeah, even though your favorite item of food, how many times can you eat it before you say, enough, can I have something else, please? And the other point is, although you enjoy it, not everyone does. If pleasure is in the object, everyone should enjoy it the same. Now, beetle leaves, right? You know set of people who chew on beetle leaves, right? Some of you may, some of you won't. Because some of you say, No, it's bitter. Why would you chew on beetle leaves? It's so bitter. Whereas others will say, oh yeah, that's where I get my fix, my daily fix. One in the morning, one after tea, that's how I get my daily fix. You know, maybe back in our grandparents, you know, those times, you know, people used to do it quite a lot. But you know, today and today's day and age, you know, you see very, very seldom it happens. So if that joyfulness is in the beetle leaf, then we should all be able to enjoy that. But we don't. Some like bitter god, others don't. They hate it. Some like chocolate. You know, there are people who don't like chocolate. You think, what? Yes. So why is it you all like chocolate then? It's because from a very young age it was what was indoctrinated in our minds. If not the chocolate, at least the sweet taste was indoctrinated in our minds. Because what did our parents give to us as treats? Sweets. Yeah? They never gave us melum as a treat. It was always chocolate, a candiba, huh? Some something sweet, right? So we grew up with that indoctrination. That sweet was the taste of reward. That is what we grew up with. Biologically, you know, there may be some some connection because uh I remember studying for biology that the body has a uh, you know, it has an affinity for sweetness because it is high in calories, and that is the body's source of energy. So the body has a has a higher affinity for for sweetness, perhaps. But there is also a mental aspect here that we must consider. So a lot of the things that you like today are because that is what you grew up with. Maybe your sisters, your brothers who lived with you, you know, those were the things like I used to love to listen to Amadadeva's songs. I I loved my classical music. That is because in our at home, Apache used to listen to listen to Amadadeva. That is what I grew up with. And the friends I associated, you know, we like classical music. So growing up, I I enjoyed that stuff. But not everyone likes classical music. So then you can't say that beauty is in the music, it's all in the mind. So why do we try to understand this? Once you understand this, you no longer become slaves to the outside world objects and the people who control them. Because in this world, ladies and gentlemen, people control things. The sights you see, the sounds you hear, the smells you inhale, they are all controlled by somebody. You don't believe me? Why is a prison sentence a prison sentence? Answer that question and you will get the answer to this one. Why is a prison sentence a prison sentence? In prison, they feed you for free, they clothe you for free, they shelter you for free, and when you are unwell, they treat you for free. So your body gets everything it needs. But the mind is not given what it wants, not what it needs, it's not given what it wants. Because the mind wants to watch TV, they hardly get that. The mind wants to go on trips, they don't get that. The mind wants to be with friends and family, they don't get that. The mind wants to see the color red, and they don't get that. That is why a dark room is a punishment. So, how if you ever get, you know, sometimes you say, you know, if the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, right? I'm gonna give you the prisoner's guide to say to stay sane in a prison. If ever you get imprisoned, you're not planning on doing that, are you? But just in case, right? In case you get ever get prisoned and you have to serve a prison sentence in a dark room, I tell you, you needn't suffer. It needn't be a prison sentence to you. If you have understood the Dhamma, you cannot be imprisoned. Put me in a prison cell. I can't, I won't suffer. So you can't punish me by putting me in a prison cell. For as long as you feed me because I feel hunger, I'll need something to put over my body. When I'm ill, I'll need some medicines, right? And I'll need shelter. So I'll need these four things, the basic requisites. Every human being needs these things, and this these are not optional. But besides that, I don't need to watch TV, I don't need to go on the internet, I don't need to listen to music, I don't need to look at things to enjoy myself. I don't need to be with someone in particular. But why is prison prison? Because there are people you want to be with. There are things you want to do, there are places you want to be. Therefore, there's always the threat of prison. I'm free from that threat. So I cannot be imprisoned. You can prison my body, but you can't prison my mind. You can't imprison my mind. Wouldn't you like to have that freedom? What price are you willing to pay for that? Some of you imprison yourselves to a bottle of liquor because you think that is where happiness comes from. I want to free you. But not by asking you to observe the precept of Surah Mere Majjavamadattana. No, no, no. I want you to understand that happiness does not come in a bottle. Some of you maybe enjoy yourselves and pleasure yourselves by eating as much as you can. Just keep on shoving stuff into your bodies. It's not good for your body. Because the body has a limit. Because this is a this is a very natural instrument. Right? Your body has a has the right amount of sugar, it has a right amount of lipid, it has a right amount of carbohydrates, all these things, it has a right amount, an optimum amount the body needs. Put any more than that because the mind wants it and you're ruining your bodies. Put any less than that, and you're again ruining your bodies. So there's an optimum amount. But when you become slave to the tastes, to your taste buds, now you're out of control. And then later on you begin to suffer. You don't need to be like that. I'm here to free you from that burden. The Buddha's teaching is here to free you from that burden. If to enjoy yourself, you have to go on a trip once every two weeks. You have to go sightseeing, you have to go to a party, you have to go to the club. Without your music, if you can't survive, I'm here to free you from that burden. You don't need to be like that. So, whatever you are a slave to, just let the Dhamma heal you. Just let the Dhamma do its part. I promise you, you don't have to do anything else other than bringing yourself here and paying attention to what the Swami Nazi has to say. The Dhamma will do its magic. Because you can't not understand this, can you? I say flower, can you not understand it? I mean, can you deliberately not understand it? You can't. Because understanding is not a passive, it's not an active process, it's a passive process. You understand. If you know the context, if you know the words, if they have meaning, you understand. Because perception is not a doing thing, it's a done thing. Like understanding is a done thing. So this is done. Nibbana is also done. You don't have to do nibbana. Just let nibbana happen to you. Just let freedom happen to you. Come here, listen to the talks. Let the teaching be absorbed. It'll happen to you. And freedom will come when it comes. That's it. Sotapanna will happen to you when it happens. Don't you worry. Sakrudhagami will happen to you when it happens. Anagami will happen to you when it happens, and Arahat will happen to you when it happens. You may not even know it has happened to you. You don't need to know. Just let it happen to you. That's why my teacher always tells me, don't struggle for the for arahat kud. Don't struggle for sotapannahud or to become an anagami. Make your struggle a struggle to free yourself from suffering. If your mind is at ease, who cares whether that is arahathud or so tapanna? Who cares? If your mind is at ease, that is what we're here for. So make that your only goal. Therefore, I will never be issuing you a certificate to say, madam, you're a sotapana, you're an anagami, you're a no, I say this because in some places, apparently, they do that. For 25,000, you get a certificate too. That you are a sotapa. 75,000, you can get an amagami certificate. Don't fall for that nonsense. Because when people want the money in your pockets, they'll be hell-bent on it, ladies and gentlemen. Have sympathy for them because what they understand is beauty comes in the object, and to get that object, they need money. You have the money, and you want to become a sotapanna, so they give you sotapana, you give them money. So, therefore, let me tell you now: if you have any hope of becoming a sotapanna, let go of that. If you want to become an anagami, let go of that. Just want to free from suffering. That's it. Otherwise, you will go after people who will promise you uh, you know, sotapana in seven days. How's that? A two-week course. At the end of that, you become a sotapana, we even give a certificate signed by the president of the society. Don't fall for that rubbish. That is not for us to go holding pracards and say, stop doing this stuff, you know, why are you fooling people? No, no, no, no. Let them do what they have to do. Because you know, everyone has to make a living. Yeah, people have to live. And if that's the way they're gonna live, then that's the way they're gonna live. But don't you fall for that? You are more meritorious than that. You have ample merits to bring yourselves to the truth, the true teaching of the Buddha. Now that you're here, just let the Dhamma do its magic to you. That's why I say don't give up anything. Don't give up anything. Don't offer everything you have to the Sambhuda Sasana either. No, no, no, no, no. First offer yourself. Offer yourself to the sasana. Sabba Papa Saakaran is the first offering you can do to the sasana. Sabba Papa Sakarana. Stop all unmeritorious deeds. That is the first offering to the sasana. Kusala Supa Sampada is the second. Offering to the tasra. Engage in as many meritorious deeds as possible. Do kusa. Help others. Help other people out of their pitiful states. Help other people out of their miseries. Bring them to a sermon if you can. That's one of the best things you can do for people. I can't think of any better thing that you can do for someone than to open, help open their eyes to the Dhamma. Do that. I know there are some among you who bring your parents here because you want them to realize the truth, the true teaching as well, because you know how much sacrifice they've made on your behalf. Every drop of milk that your mother shed for you. Now you want to pay that price, don't you? That's why you bring your mother here. Every drop of sweat that your father shed on your behalf, on your behalf and no other, you want to pay that price. Therefore, you bring him here. If you can't bring them here, perhaps they're not there too all for it, but at least you take the Dhamma to them. You sit down with them, hold their hand, and explain to them, Amma, I heard I listened to a sermon today. I want to share with you just five minutes of what I captured. Please listen to this. And you know, you be the messenger. If they're not prepared to come here, why don't you take it to them? Do what you have to do. The Buddha says, keep your parents on either shoulder for a hundred years and you will never be able to repay the debts. But introduce them to the true teaching of the Dhamma so that they can be freed once and for all from suffering. That is the only time you can actually free yourself and repay the entirety of any debts that you owe them. This is not, these are not my words, folks, this is the Buddha. So why do you think I'm here then? I sit in front of an audience, an audience who have been mothers and fathers to me throughout my journey of sansar. You have all been mothers to me, and you have all been fathers to me. It is my time to pay my debt. There is not a single woman here who has not fed me her blood in the form of milk. Not a single man here who has not shed his blood and sweat on my behalf. Not a single one. And for that I am eternally grateful because thanks to your sacrifices, I went on to become a human being. And today I'm a person who is able to enjoy the bliss of the sasana as I do. It's my time to pay those debts to you. There's a reason why you and I we have come together. These are all sansadic transactions. Nothing happens just because, everything happens for a reason. You and I are here under this one roof, me talking to you because I have a debt to pay. I have a debt to pay. And I will pay that debt until I can. I want you to bring yourselves here so I can pay my debt and free you from suffering. My teacher is paying his debt. He's helping me, and through me, he's helping you as well. This is how we're all connected. I don't expect to come back again into this world. This will be the last time, and that will be enough. But while my time is here, I want to repay as many of my debts as possible. So in asking you to bring someone else along, I'm not only asking on their behalf, but I also want to repay my debts as well. So there's a hidden agenda. The sooner I can clear my debts, the sooner I can get out of here. So, may the Dhamma heal you. May the Dhamma set you free. And do your part for your family as well. That mother, that poor mother, your poor father. They're today, they may have a lot, but they're poor in health, they're poor in age. They've expended their youthful years serving you. Today you are as successful as you are. Your claim to fame is partly because of what they've done for you. I'll remind this to you from time to time, because I am someone who cares deeply about my parents and my teachers. I will go to the I'll go to hell and back if I can do for them. So do what you can for your parents. If they're not willing to come here, or if they're not prepared to come here, or perhaps they're not fit enough to come here, you know, take some of this to them. Go today, you know, get back home. Once you get home, why don't you explain to them how duty works? Explain to them this the principle of vexation. Do this, experiment with them, and explain to them, Mama, you know, how you know pleasure doesn't come in the object, does it? It comes from relief from pain. See? Then they'll begin to understand something. And from that you can leave them on, one to another, one to the other. One day, who knows? They might be happy to come here. Maybe they'll happy to come to the monastery. Let's do our part. In serving others, we serve ourselves. That's how that happens. So you understand this? At least to a certain extent. That's alright. Blank faces are okay. That's fine. Because we'll talk about this again next week as well, and the following week, and the following week, and the following week. For as long as someone is here on this seat, they will have this talk with you. And for as long as someone is on that seat, this talk will happen. One person is enough. I don't need a room full of people. One person is enough. Whoever has the merits to be here will be here. Whoever doesn't have the merits to be here will when they have the merits. So we don't need to bring every man, every tomdick, and Harry here. We don't need to. Let them come when they can come. But can encourage people. So is ignorance bliss? If ignorance is bliss, then it should all be blissful and not be here. Your very being here is evidence that ignorance is not bliss. You're ignorant to think that beauty comes in a flower. Therefore, you fall victim to this. You are prey to this. You are a slave to this. If I want to make you unhappy, all I have to do is this. See? Because you like this flower. If you like this flower, that's all I have to do. What I've done to the flower, I've just done to your mind. Why do you let me do that? Don't let me do that. What if that was your child? What if that was your house? What if that was your land, your property, your car, your watch, your phone, your favorite dress? All I have to do is hold it in my hands and pull it apart, and I can make you suffer. Why do you let me do that to you? Why don't you be the master of your own happiness? Don't be slaves to others. Rise up. Rise up strong. That is what the Dhamma will help you do. Don't let me don't let anyone destroy your life. Become independent. Because the Dhamma is the way to independence, true independence. The day you become an Arahant will be your independence day. That day we shall celebrate.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Thank you for joining us on the Art of Being Happy from Caitavanarama Buddhist Monastery. May today's wisdom bring you peace and joy in your daily life. We'd love to hear how these talks have touched your life. Share your experiences with us on Plus91-6361803371. Until next time, may you find happiness in each present moment. Brought to you by Sanatinavani, the Voice Eternal.