Becoming a True Buddhist

The core of Buddhist philosophy is how much you have transformed from being a person who suffer to a person who doesn't. If you still suffer, your inner transformation is yet to be complete. If you don't know what to do when you suffer, you haven't event embarked on the journey of learning Buddha's teachings on life and true happiness.   

"Only hurt people hurt people" - Remember this the next time you suffer, you feel offended, agitated or overwhelmed or come across someone exhibiting similar signs of suffering. Rather than choosing to stay hurt or hurt others, choose kindness, understanding, and love above all. Stay tuned for more such insights on how to live life, happily.  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to The Art of Being Happy, Buddha's Guide to Modern Living from Jetavanarama Buddhist Monastery, Sri Lanka. This intriguing talk series brings timeless Buddhist wisdom to help you navigate life's challenges through simple practical insights. Each episode offers gentle guidance for finding peace and joy in everyday moments. Join us on this journey toward lasting happiness and inner peace. Brought to you by Sanatanadani, the voice eternal.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

You know what, ladies and gentlemen? Let's cut to the chase. Let's cut out all that crap, all that nonsense. There is nothing more practical than Buddha's philosophy. This is the most practical thing I've ever come across in my life. It is about you and nothing else. If there's anything more practical than this, I can't think of anything. This is the most practical thing. It's about how much you have transformed from a being who used to suffer to one who doesn't suffer anymore. That is the simple test. So this is not a question that I can answer on your behalf. Only you have the answer to this. Do you suffer? If you suffer, then you still have work to do. If you don't suffer, then you've already got something done for yourselves. If you don't know what to do when you suffer, you haven't even started. You haven't even embarked on the journey of becoming a Buddhist. Because people out there, when they suffer, they don't know what to do. Don't you see people fighting each other all the time? See, on a bus, on the train, on the street, what do people do? If they feel offended, what is the normal reaction? What is the default reaction that mankind exhibits? An eye for an eye, isn't it? So much so that if you don't retaliate, if you don't fight back, it is considered belittling yourself, undermining yourself. It's like the law of the the jungle. This is how people consider they should live their lives. To earn respect is to show your prowess and to show that you are better than others. You don't meddle with them, you don't mess about with them. One who lives a life like that, they believe they are somehow superior to others. But this is not how the Buddha taught one's life should be lived. Let's redefine what being a good Buddhist is. Only hurt people, hurt people. You've heard me say that before. I'll write it on the board. Because this is such an important thing. Do you agree with me on this statement? Do all of you agree with me on this? Hurt people, hurt people. So if you are hurt, what is the tendency? To hurt someone else. Either by speech or by action or even by thought. You can curse someone mentally. You can wish them unwell. You can wish them evil mentally, you don't say anything. This is what happens most of the time. In civil society, we don't say things out loud. We give them a frown, but that's as far as we are willing to go, because we don't have the courage to do any more than that, most people, or, you know, this in so that in civil society you're not supposed to. But mentally, you're doing all sorts of things. You know, if people who thought bad of you mentally were given the chance to do all that to you, you'd be long dead. Don't you agree with me? You'd be long dead. If people were given the chance to do all that they thought, all evilness that they thought about, if they were, if they actually had the chance to do that to you, ladies and gentlemen, you'd be long dead. And equally on the other side, if people who had sensual, lustful thoughts about you were given the chance to do all that to you, you'd be you'd have been raped more times than the hairs on your head by this point. This is the honest truth. Women in the house, do you know how many times you get raped as you walk along the streets by people who do it mentally? Try going on a bus, catching a train, walking along the streets. They're hurt people. I'm not saying they're bad people, I'm just saying they're hurt people. They're hurt. The only reason they don't act out what they think is they know that the consequences of that are going to be dire. They probably get locked up in a prison cell somewhere, or the defame that's good that is gonna bring them, or their families. If they could just ignore and forget all that, chances are you wouldn't come out unscathed. That's not because they're bad once again, it's only because they are hurt. Hurt people know only one thing to do: hurt other people. It goes both ways. How many times have you caught people ogling you? Again, I'm not saying they're bad people. Eyeing you up and down? How many times have you felt the need to tell them, hey dude, my eyes are up here? Can you have compassion towards them? That makes you a good Buddhist. If when someone does that to you, you can have compassion towards them because you're not hurt, that's what I'm talking about. Because when you are the victim of that, if you are hurt, now here's what you want to do. You want to hurt them. But it takes a great person, someone who has come across the Dhamma, to understand what you give is what you get. What goes around comes around. I have no one but myself to blame for this. No one. This is not your fault, it's in fact not the aircon's fault. This is just the environment that's drawing the vipaka. That's all. That's why I'm trying to change the environment to see if the vipaka stops. That's all I'm doing. The karma has already been done. Maybe I said something so terrible that made someone speechless. And now as I try to speak, I'm interrupted. You know, like when you say sometimes something to some people, or you'll be you have you have experiences, you feel like a lump in your throat. Yeah? When someone says something to you and it's just so heartbreaking, it leaves a lump in your throat, and you say, you know, God, he said something, and I I don't know what happened to me. I I just couldn't speak. I I I was I was speechless. It was such a terrible thing to say. How could he say something like that? I it almost felt like I had a lump in my throat. Perhaps it was I who did that some time ago, and now when I try to speak, I can't get the words out. Like I said, what goes wrong comes wrong. All of this is my doing. Can you man up to accept the responsibility for your own results? Can you woman up and accept responsibility for your own results? Because then you have no one to point your finger at but yourself. Now there are no grudges, no battles to pick, no eye for an eye, no retaliation, no akkochi manga avadima, no ajini manga hasime, no hatred, no anger, no resentment, complete and total responsibility accepted. Everything I'd done is what comes back to me. People often think like this when good things happen to them. You know, someone wins the lottery, what do they say? Well, people like us, you know what else do you expect? But when a mother loses her child, what does she look up and say to the gods Abde? Why? Why what? Why? Me. Of all people, why me? I have lived such a holy life. I have been the best mother a mother can be. Why me, God? Why me? They don't ask that when they win the lottery, do they? Why me? Who else but me? Is what they say then. That is being partisan. That is not totally being okay with anything. Take a strict responsibility for anything that happens to you. Some of you are now towards the elderly years of your life. You're beginning to pick up those aches and pains that come to you, and you're sometimes, you know, you're trying to get treatment for it, but no matter how much you treat them, this it's not going away. You've been to the specialists, you've been to the doctors, you've had the scans done, you've had the MRIs done, you have this done, you had that done, you even went abroad to get the best treatment you could afford, find the best consultants, but no matter how much treatment they do, they still can't find the cause of your pain. You know, there comes a point where you have to say, accept it. I know people like that. You know what happens if you can't accept that? You start to build up resentment. And it works in this way. First of all, you begin to resent those who do not suffer with the same symptoms that you do. You don't speak it out, but these are thoughts that begin to fester in your mind. If you're going through some hardship and you have someone who walks up to you and tries to soothe you, generally, what are they, what do you expect them to say? Or what do you just you know, think about it from your point of view. If you are supposed to go and, you know, pacify a friend who's been through some hard going through some hardship, let's say they've lost someone. Generally, what do you do? What do you say to them? You know, these things happen. I've been through similar. Yeah? So you're trying to empathize with them. You tell them, you know, it's okay, you're not the only one. I've been through the same thing. By saying this, you're trying to give them a sense of relief. Because as they say, a problem hub is a problem solved. This is not a great virtue, by the way. It's a vice. People are happy when hardship comes to them to know that it also comes to other people. How can that be compassion? How can that be a great, you know, how can that be a sign of greatness? I don't know whether it's to this audience I mentioned this example. Usually when someone gets a cancer and they go through chemotherapy, radiotherapy, whatnot, they start losing their hair. And one of the things they have to do is what? Shave their heads. Yeah? So usually when someone shaves their head for support, moral support, their friends, sometimes members of the family, they do the same. And that makes them feel better. Like I said, this is a hard tough pill to swallow. And I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just trying to show you the human condition. Think about how the mind works. I need you to aspire to greater than this. Don't be that one who expects someone else to shave their heads off in case you get a cancer one day. Just because you listen to the Dhamma doesn't mean you become immune to that. Maybe there's a cancer happening waiting to happen to you next week. You fall unconscious, they take you to the doctor, the doctor gives you a scan and says, It's been going on for the last three months. Did you only just find out? Whether you're a good Buddhist or not, you'll be able to check in that moment. At that moment, do you suffer? What is happening to you physically, is that affecting you mentally? You see, this physical and mental, there's a divide between these two. What connects these two things together is ignorance and attachment. So that when pain comes to the physical body, if it affects the mind, that is not the sign of a good Buddhist. A good Buddhist is able to see the physical body as the body and the mind as the mind. One does not affect the other. But right now, perhaps even something that happens to your children bothers you. It hurts you. If your child gets into a fight at school and they he or she comes home and says, Amma, you know what happened today? What's that black eye? What happened? Well, someone knocked me. Someone hit me, someone attacked me. If that causes anger within you, if that ignites anger within you, then there is the evidence that there is more work you need to do to become a good Buddhist. You're not the one who's been attacked. Your child is. So how does that hurt you? Because you will say that is my child. That is the answer. How do you know it's your child? You believe that's your child. So how does something that happened to your child hurt you? How does something that happens to your house hurt you? How does something that happens to your car hurt you? How does something that happened to your property hurt you? You are and you and that are not the same. Now, in your previous birth, you also had children, right? For those of you who believe still that there was a previous life, life previous to this. Then you died, and now you're born, now you are a brand new person. Let's just assume that when you died in your last birth, your children were very young. Let's say they were just infants. So if you've lived now, what, 20 years, 25 years, they're probably by this point about 30. 30, 40, maybe that time. That sort of age period going on. Now, you know, one of them gets into a gets run over by a car. Does that hurt you? Does it bother you? It doesn't. So the fact that they are your child doesn't hurt you. What hurts you is you thinking that that is your child, your belief that it's your child. There is no other connection than your own perception. It is this perception that you need to tweak, redefine, recalibrate, re-engineer. Because right now it's flawed. It's been hijacked by ignorance and attachment. And therefore, when things happen to the objects and the people around you, ladies and gentlemen, they affect you. Just look at it. Don't they affect you? So therefore, your your happiness is not independent. Yeah, you're it's like you're flying like a kite, but the strings are attached to so many people and objects on the ground. And if they let go, that's it. You're a lost course. If you're the kite, just have a think about how many strings you're attached to. Right now you're flying happy, soaring the sky, showing yourself off to everyone, and you're happy and you're delightful. But do remember that there are so many strings attached to you. So you're not a no-strings attached. You have many strings attached. Each of these strings determine your tomorrow. Right now you're okay. In this state of mind, you're in this good mood right now because you you think, you don't know really, you think that everything at home is fine. One call is all it takes, doesn't it? To upset you? What if you get a call, your text message from your mom right now? What if you get a text message from your sibling right now? Emergency. Dad's been taken to hospital. If dad's been taken to hospital, you getting to the hospital is one thing. That's your duty, that's your responsibility. But on your way to the hospital, your heart is beating like the engine of the car. It's as heated up as the engine of the car. How so? Now there's not just one casualty, there's another casualty waiting to happen. You think people have not had accidents on the way to seeing someone who's had an accident? And in hospital? How so? If you're a parent right now, you're okay because you think your children are fine. Maybe you don't even know it, but your child has started to do drugs. One day you're gonna find out. And that one day can come tomorrow, it can come in a week's time, it can come in two years' time. When he's ruined himself completely. And he goes into a state of shock, they take him to the hospital and then they figure out that he's been doing drugs. How does that leave you as a parent? Even the thought of it right now sends a shiver down your spine, does it not? Just the thought of it. If your little one just runs across the street and you see a car coming, your heart skips a beep, doesn't it? See, you suffer. So what should a good parent do? What should a good Buddhist parent do? Look away when the child runs across the street and you see traffic approaching? No. Try and save the child. I'm not talking about what you do physically. I'm not talking about you calculating the required steps to save the child. I'm not talking about that. What I'm talking about is how you fire up emotionally. There's a fire that ignites within you. There's a furnace that ignites with you and it consumes you entirely, sometimes to the point where you can't think rationally. When you're emotional, do you think rationally? Honestly, answer this question for me, all of you. When you're emotional, do you think rationally? You can't think rationally because you are prejudiced. The Buddha says this himself: Chanda, Dosa, Baya, Moha. These are the four prejudices that take over your mind. When these four things happen within you, ladies and gentlemen, try your best not to take any decisions. Because whatever decisions you have made in those moments will tend to be the wrong decision. Chanda is great desire for something. Remember the last time you had a great desire for something and you put a ring on it? And now, how do you feel about that? I'm just jesting. You got married to the perfect woman, you got married to the perfect husband. I'm just jesting. Okay, it's it's the person sat next to you I'm talking about. You're fine. That is chanda, great desire. When great desire takes over your heart, I want you to start thinking about why the Buddha says, in these moments, don't take decisions. Or the decisions that you take are going to be flawed, they're not going to be the right choices. Because in this moment, ladies and gentlemen, you can't calculate the situation. You can't take a proper evaluation of the situation because all you can think of is, I am vexing help. This is a sinking man. When you're sinking, you just clutch on to any straw, don't you? Just imagine two of you, you're out swimming in the sea, right? A great wave comes, and now the two of you are are drowning. When you try to keep yourself afloat, can you? I'm not asking do you, I'm asking, can you sensibly, rationally think about how your actions are going to affect the other person? In that moment where you're about to suffocate, you're about to drown and die, can you actually think about the other person? What do you tend to do? Even if it means that you're gonna have to climb over his uh the the other person's body, you're just you're just gonna try and keep yourself safe. It's a natural reaction. The same thing happens in the mind. When the mind begins to vex out of great desire, the mind loses all rational thinking. That's why one of the worst things you can do is make decisions about yourself or others around you in moments where you feel great desire for something. Proof of this? Your blood reports. No. Didn't the doctor tell you you're not supposed to be eating sugar? Cut out the fatty foods, cut out the sugary foods, cut out the oily foods, but in moments of great desire, you make a choice. You make a decision, and has it been the right choice? No. How many times have you walked up to the fridge and you knew you shouldn't be opening that freezer? Because you know there's a demon inside. Or there's a lamp inside, and once you rub that lamp, the demon within you awakens. So you shouldn't be opening the freezer, but you still nonetheless you open the freezer. You think, I'm just opening it, I'm not even touching it, I'm just opening it, right? What's so bad about that? So you open it. Now it's out there, staring at you, fruit and nut. I just want to touch it. And no harm can come out of touching it, right? I'm just I'm just touching it. I'm just I just want to see how heavy I just want to see how much is left in it. That's all. So you take it out of the freezer. All this while you're thinking, the doctor said no, doctor said no, doctor said no, I am diabetic. Then you open the lid to see whether it's frozen. As if you have to check that. You open the lid, and then you look into it, and it looks at you, and you look at it, and it looks at you, and it says, please. And then you go, yes, please. And then what happens? A few moments later. What happens? You're digging into it. Before you know it, the tub is oh finish that. And then you you are locked into regret. Then you know, oh now the doctor is going to ask me, how come the blood report is so high? And then I have to answer to him. Then you start coming up with excuses. See, chandra. Desire. In a moment of desire, you made a decision, and now you have to live with it. What about when sensual lust takes over? Sometimes maybe you have been victims of this, sometimes maybe you have been the perpetrators of this. Under this roof, everyone's equal. I don't see sinners, I don't see haters, I I just see hurt people. That's all I see. Hurt people. You're hurt because of ignorance and attachment. And I'm trying to help redeem yourselves. So sometimes maybe you were the victims, maybe you were the perpetrators. Lust took over. You knew it was forbidden. It's wrong. I shouldn't be doing this. How am I going to answer to my wife? How am I going to answer to my husband? How am I going to answer to my mother? I myself, I have a sister. How can I do something like this? But inside the furnace was ignited. And now, every time you look at it, it keeps adding fuel to the fire. But you can't look away either. You have your eyes fixed, you try to turn around, but no, it's not working. They say the mind is willing, but the flesh is weak. Not so. The flesh is more than willing. It's the mind that is weak. If the mind were to send just one command to your eyes to shut itself, the eyes would comply, no questions asked. If the mind would just send one command, turn your head around and walk out this moment, otherwise, something terrible is going to happen. The body is more than willing to adhere and comply. But the mind is not weak. It's not strong enough. The mind is weak. Perhaps you were the victim. Perhaps you were the perpetrator. And you know what happened then. Sorry if I'm rubbing an old wound. Maybe a part of your life you're trying to forget and try to forgive yourself. I'm here to try and teach you how to be okay with that.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Thank you for joining us on the Art of Being Happy from Caitavanarama Buddhist Monastery. May today's wisdom bring you peace and joy in your daily life. We'd love to hear how these talks have touched your life. Share your experiences with us on Plus91-6361803371. Until next time, may you find happiness in each present moment. Brought to you by Sanat Navani, the Voice Eternal.